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Things to Know About Single Dads During and After Divorce -

Together for 11 years, married for 10, 6 year old child. He wouldn’t wear the ring, wouldn’t hold my hand or kiss me in public, wouldn’t talk to me at parties, was just a jerk, not a man. We would stand in front of the mirror, naked, and he would only look at his own body and say what a great body he’s got. And just out of boredom I joined an online dating site and started talking to a few people. He was interesting and showing a huge interest in me, in how I felt, etc. And when he stood behind me, put his arms around me and held me really strong and rubbed me for 10 minutes, I didn’t want this moment to end and almost cried. We’ve been seeing each other since then and started to want to see each other more and more. But I feel absolutely NO physical attraction any more. I agreed to give him a chance and promised to stop any contact with my ‘boyfriend’. I don’t want to go through a divorce because of the child but then, should I stay unhappy? It’s so frustrating, and when I talk to young people, or even people considering second marriage, I tell them to look at the person’s parents because that is what their husband or wife will most likely turn into.

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My husband’s excuse for not being a good husband or partner is that his father didn’t treat his mom nice. Never touched me, even though I asked so many times and said how important that was to me. And then pinched a bit of my skin to show me that I have half an inch of fat on my belly. Last month I told my husband that our marriage stopped working for me. Let’s get to the part of your post that really struck a nerve with me.

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11 years of jokes just made me tired and very vulnerable. First of all, hearing how your husband treated you makes me very sad for you. I could write an entire blog about how men and women have the tendency to repeat the patterns of their parents—some realizing it and some not, some willing to get the help they need to be different than their parent’s bad behavior, and some swearing they’ll never act that way and then do.

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Since then he started to see a therapist (before he said he wouldn’t ever see one) to help him change for better. There is nothing that bothers me more than married people who go on dating sites. Some lie and say they are single, and then they begin a relationship with an innocent person who ends up falling in love and then finding out the person is married.


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